I would melt if someone brought me flowers…..

May 18, 2009 — 9 Comments

“I would melt if someone brought me flowers.” – a recent Twitter post.

Flowers are still a popular romantic gesture.

Flowers are still a popular romantic gesture.

How sad! How is it that a romantically involved woman has not received flowers recently?

It’s almost as if cut flowers have become cliche. The movie image of a geeky nerd arriving with an awkward wrist corsage certainly hasn’t done much to convince guys that flowers are a quality romantic gesture. Similarly, cut flowers have never really been something most guys are comfortable receiving, so they haven’t learned by example either. But trust me, flowers are still a quality romantic gesture for most – you just need to know how to use them.

First off, if you give your significant other flowers and their first response is “Flowers. Nice. What did you do?,” you have some work to do. As with all truly romantic gestures, flowers are not about you. They aren’t for getting you out of trouble or even for making her love you more. The gift is all about her. For example, does she have a favorite type of flower. I, for one, really don’t care for orchids – but many women swoon over them. If she doesn’t have a favorite type of flower, maybe she has a favorite color you can mimic. Where is she likely to place the flowers? Is there a color scheme to that room that you can match with your bouquet?

Giving flowers is, on one hand, a very simple romantic gesture to do. You can get quality bouquets of flowers from a florist (just google your area), most grocery stores, and even at some gas stations. They are meant to be a spontaneous gesture. One Twitter follower even noted that her SO would randomly stop and pick flowers on the side of the road. He showed her honor by taking the time to notice those flowers and bringing them home to her. Not a single penny was spent, but the gesture was heartfelt and sincere.

On the flip-side, giving flowers isn’t as easy as it may seem. It’s important to know your special someone before giving more than a single red rose and even that is a little risky. Some pitfalls to watch out for:

  • Many flowers, roses in particular, have special meanings depending on their color.  Be sure you know what you are saying before you say it. (Of course, these rules are irrelevant if your SO simply likes a particular color of rose and that trumps the meaning in her mind.)
  • Some flowers can become associated with specific memories – some good, some bad. In our house, a sprig of lilacs brings back happy memories of our wedding and are always welcome. For others, some types of flowers (e.g. lilies) remind them of funerals or previous bad relationships – traumatic memories you don’t accidentally want to bring to mind.
  • If you pick flowers, be sure that you do so legally and safely, with the environment in mind. Also, beware bringing insects to your SO via your bouquet. Nothing puts a crimp on a romantic evening like a good case of anaphylactic shock brought on by a bee sting. Also, falling into a ditch or getting run over by a car would also be counter productive.
  • Some do not have a vase in the house. Know and be prepared for that possibility. Also, be prepared to be the one to cut the ends and place them into water.
  • Some hate cut flowers because they eventually die (I’ll talk about potted flowers another time).
  • Make sure the flowers you give do not reflect poorly on your financial responsibility. Carnations, for example, can give some receivers the notion that you are cheap (but my Mrs. loves them). Buying two dozen red roses when there isn’t enough food in the house could show that you cannot responsibly care for your household.
If you like receiving flowers, be sure to be merciful if your SO does not get it right the first time. I’m convinced that that many a child harbors a trauma associated with giving flowers – the time they pulled the really pretty prize-winning flowers from the garden for their mom only to be greeted with a look of horror when they offered them. If they don’t get it right, be sure to educate, not berate or you may inadvertantly train your SO not to bring you flowers. And if receiving flowers is important to you, don’t be afraid to drop a hint or two. ;-)

Would you like to receive cut flowers as a romantic gesture?

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9 responses to I would melt if someone brought me flowers…..

  1. Most women would like to get flowers. In these tough economic times….flowers are still possible. You don’t need to buy an expensive arrangement. A single flower would be nice.

    I came home the other day and my husband had filled one of our flowerbeds with one of my favorite flowers…impatiens. I was delighted. And they will last a long time.

  2. Gregory Blake May 21, 2009 at 7:48 am

    Good points.
    Ah… impatiens. A fave around here too. I’m going to have to write about potted/garden flowers and plants soon as they are great idea.

  3. I never get flowers. The last time I did, it was because he was trying to make me happy because of something he did that made me very unhappy. It didn’t work. I’m fairly certain I’m married to the most unromantic person on the planet and it breaks my heart.

  4. Gregory Blake June 14, 2009 at 7:15 am

    Ouch. It’s one of the things I keep saying. Romantic gestures are not meant to get someone out of trouble.
    It sounds like your husband needs training.

  5. My husband spent a ton of money to suprise me with flowers shipped FTD (he is in Iraq) Unfortuantly, it is over 100 degrees here and they were fried before they were delivered! FTD graciously replaced them and half were dead when they arrived. The heat was too much in the back of the fedex truck.

    He has no idea. I loved the fact he thought of me. He doesn’t need to know what happened.

    Tip for guys. If you want to send flowers from long distance, make sure they will arrive okay. REALLY hot or cold weather can cause unforseen problems.

  6. Thanks Dana. Great advice!

  7. The last time I received flowers was when I had my first child 20 years ago. I’ve since had three more kiddie, but no more flowers.

    I buy my own; sometimes huge baskets of gorgeous flowers just to make a point towards hubs, but he just rolls his eyes. He thinks they are the biggest waste of money ever.

  8. Ahh… Ironically my Mrs. once felt she didn’t deserve flowers. Fortunately she now knows otherwise.

  9. Nice post which the movie image of a geeky nerd arriving with an awkward wrist corsage certainly hasn’t done much to convince guys that flowers are a quality romantic gesture. Similarly, cut flowers have never really been something most guys are comfortable receiving, so they haven’t learned by example either. Thanks a lot for posting.