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Hi Gang,

This is just a quick heads up to explain the silence around here. It’s a tad ironic that both the site and my Twitter feed (@ratedGromance) are going quiet just before Valentine’s Day. There are a few reasons:

  1. Nothin’ says lovin’ like sending your man to the opposite end of the world. This is the year of our 30th anniversary and my 50th birthday, so my wife has given me the most awesome gift ever – a bucket-list trip to Antarctica. I’ll be away from civilization for most of February.
  2. I am finally writing my romantic gestures book and putting my time into writing there.
  3. In support of the book, I hope to relaunch the site with vigor later this year. Be sure to subscribe to the blog to be notified when the site is active again.

Thank you so much for all your support. May this upcoming Valentine’s Day and all the days around it be filled with romance beyond your wildest dreams. Receive it. Create it.

We were singing when some late comers arrived to church. He, the epitome of Santa Claus, white beard and belly, had his wife on his arm helping her fragile form down the aisle toward a seat near their “where we normally sit” chairs. She shuffled uncomfortably along with him, her tongue hanging out to the side slightly – a side effect of the cancer meds. The adult diapers under her pants rustled slightly as she struggled forward. Her swollen “prednisone” face carried a sheepish smile and the obvious telltale signs that she has very few time left. Continue Reading…

I’m old enough to remember when rap & hip-hop didn’t even exist. I love music of all sorts (I’m more about the message than the packaging) and I’ve been telling friends for years that I believe the next big thing in music will likely be some sort of eastern fusion.
So I was really pleased when I got a chance to pick the brains of someone who plays Bollywood and Bhangra music for a living. Thanks to Angelina Rai of RJ1200 for sending along the following list of love songs! I think my favorite is Jab Mila Tu.
  1. Pehli Nazar Mein (At First Sight) by Atif Aslam [Lyrics]
  2. Saiyyan (My Love) by Kailash Kher
  3. Teray Hussan De Maare (Your Beauty Kills Me) by Master Saleem
  4. Jab Mila Tu (Since I’ve Met You) by Vishal Dadlani [Lyrics]
  5. Pee Loon (Will Drink) sung by Mohit Chauhan

Anyone have any other suggestions for foreign language love songs?

In my mind, the ideal love song:

  • should  not be a “pining” or breakup song. I want songs about a type of love that is mature and functional. :)
  • preferably should not be “I’d be nothing without you” songs. I believe heartmates are functional individuals on their own, but enhanced through their interdependency. In pop music, this is actually a pretty hard song to find!
  • (For practical purposes, it should be available to play via YouTube.)

Of course the rules can be bent a bit if it is really catchy. :)  Thanks in advance for all your suggestions.








Dissecting Romance

In one sense, it’s not terribly romantic to dissect romance, but I’ve started doing just that. I want to help others learn how to create meaningful romantic gestures for their heartmate. And yes, I believe this is a skill that can be learned.


As I outline my thinking, I’d love your input. (I give my first talk on the subject in two weeks at a men’s breakfast, so I really need to get my thinking in writing!) This is my framework so far:

When constructing a Rated G Romantic gesture, I think I’ve decided that it basically comes down to what I am calling lenses & layers.

“Lenses” help focus the possibilities. They are about really “knowing” him or her. These lenses include your heartmate’s:

  • love language(s) – e.g. Words of Affirmation
  • tendency to be an introvert or extrovert
  • predisposition to be a risk taker
  • phobias – e.g. My Mrs. is phobic of “hanging rides.” A gondola ride would be no fun.
  • lifestyle choices – e.g. There’s no point taking a vegetarian to a steak house.
  • stature.
  • preferences – e.g. roses vs. orchids, rap vs. jazz, etc.

All romantic gestures must also me authentic, “martyr free”, within a budget and safe.

“Layers,” on the other hand, are general concepts that can be used to tweak any romantic idea that has made it through the lenses. They have the potential to take an ordinary romantic gesture and make it lavish. Layers that come to mind include:

  • illusion or surprise – more precisely, the unexpected.
  • allusion
  • firsts
  • bests
  • “returning to the scene”
  • taking risks
  • unique /once in a lifetime
  • the opportunity to laugh
  • excitement
  • sentimentality
  • creating a memory
  • themes
  • music
  • fire
  • water
  • location
  • timing
  • clues/contests/scavenger hunts
  • recruiting friends

All of these can be applied to embellish regular romantic gestures or layered deep for special days like Valentine’s Day, birthdays and anniversaries.

I’m just getting started. Can you think of any lenses or layers I should add to my lists? I am sure there are more. And come to think of it, “Lens” & “Layers” are sort of mixed metaphors. Anyone have anything better? My Mrs. suggested “lenses & frames,” like glasses, but that loses the alliteration. Any ideas? Maybe something about tools?

Thanks in advance for any help you can offer. Your comments are greatly appreciated.

#Romancewin with a Smile

December 21, 2010 — Leave a comment

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