Archives For Ideas for Romantics

I remember feeling emboldened by the fact that I was hundreds of miles away from home. Guys didn’t go to places like this where I came from. In fact, I was pretty sure we didn’t have a place like this at home. I stepped across the threshold, one foot, then the next, my heart racing. I tried to look like I fit in, but clearly I was out of my element. The smell of perfume, the shimmer of silk and satin, the women – so many women; I was the only man in sight. It was a sensory feast for a road starved man. I held my hands clasped behind my back, took a deep breath, and moved toward the back room committed to taking it all in and following through – for her – or so I told myself. I needed education.

“Can I help you?” A beautiful young blonde smiled at me, clearly trying to reassure me that I belonged. My instincts told me to run. “Is there anything I can help you find?”


“Is there a particular size you are looking for?”


The rest of what happened is a bit of a blur, but I remember feeling a little like Caesar when I was done. “I came, I saw, I conquered.” In my hand I carried the spoils of my quest: a small bag full of beautiful undergarments and a catalogue that would guide my adventures next time. My visits to Victoria’s Secret would eventually become a much anticipated part of my trips to Columbus, OH.

Was returning home with lingerie a romantic gesture? Maybe a little because I “stretched” to collect those first items for my Mrs. This was, after all, the era when virtually all undergarments came from a slightly hidden, no-man’s land in a department store or, for particularly racy couples, in a plain, vaguely addressed package from a less than classy mail-order house. I felt like I was pioneering for my Mrs. I had a Victoria’s Secret card in my wallet long before the chain started marketing to Canada.

“… Romantic, yes – if they have taken the time to find something you’d like” – @adventureskids

However, for something to be really romantic, it should be all about her, and clearly it is hard to give intimate apparel without conveying some sense of an ulterior motive. Certainly, there was a not too subtle message in my returning home from a two week business trip with frilly things as gifts.

“No, because it’s for him, not me!” – @jbaddorf
“Suggestive, yes. romantic, no.” – @Brokeback_Cat

For someone whose love language is physical touch, this message could be a seductive preview, but for my Mrs., whose primary love language is “Quality Time,” the gifts were more pragmatic that truly romantic.

“Nope [not romantic]. Cuz it ends up on the floor.” – @tattood1

In the worst case scenario, a gift of lingerie can, and often does, convey a unintended negative message. When I gave lingerie I was trying to say “You are beautiful. You deserve something that makes you feel good; feel special.” However, that is not always what women hear. A gift of beautiful lingerie has the potential to act like an emotional hand grenade.

“It took me years to receive it in the romantic spirit it was given. At first it made me feel I wasn’t good enough for him without it.” – @tashabouvier
“No. No way. Lingerie is not romantic. It’s like giving them an invite to start working in Amsterdam’s Red Light District. No.” – @Jeryes

But in fairness, virtually all gifts have the potential to backfire, so I am not saying that lingerie should never be given. It is just important to know that it falls into the same “be careful” category as power tools and appliances; you REALLY have to know your SO before giving it. Ask yourself, if I am being honest, is it really for me? Would she be happier with, for example, a beautiful flannel nightgown? Is it something she really wants? Will appreciate? Have you asked? Take the time to know.

“As long as it is not to slutty” – @Simplytracy63
“Lingerie can be romantic if it’s something that you are comfortable wearing & not something a stripper would wear.” – @djhein70

If lingerie is not necessarily a romantic gift for you, know that unless finances are really tight, buying and wearing lingerie that your SO likes is romantic, especially if you let them know “I bought it with you in mind” and really mean it. It shows confidence and a desire to be your best for your SO – two important characteristics of a true romantic. It is a personal indulgence that is relationship money well spent. Treat yourself.

“What’d be more romantic is for a woman to go out and pick out the lingerie herself, then surprise her partner with it later.” – @AutismIsARose

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? ~Author Unknown

Acts of Service Hmmm… looking for ideas here. The Mrs. said “Help take it off” but that’s a little outside my rated G parameters. :-)
Quality Time Consider going shopping for lingerie together. Enjoy the sensuousness of the experience and be sure to take notes about what she really likes.
“Definitely romantic. We used to have what we called Victoria secret dates. Shop VS , movie, hotel, order n pizza, & enjoy!” – @cbfintlscluster
Receiving Gifts For some receiving lingerie is a great gift. The trick is knowing what kind? Colour, material, size, style are all very important. Browsing through a catalogue ahead of time may be in order. Make sure it is for her.
“Only if she drooled over the item before receiving it. Otherwise it’s for the viewer not wearer. :-) ” – @DrJoyDavidson
Physical Touch Make lingerie a planned part of a “surrender date.” Lay out a beautiful teddy or camisole as part of the outfit you put together for her. Remember, you are going for sensuous and romantic, not sleazy.
Words of Affirmation Use the symbolism in lingerie to augment a message of positive affirmation. E.g. Gift it as the backdrop to a beautiful poem laid on top of the tissue inside the box so that the poem is the first thing seen. Know the receiver of the gift, especially her level of self-confidence and body image. Remember that the words are the important part. This is a high skill-level gesture, so be careful and extra thoughtful.

Does lingerie make a romantic gift?

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It’s proposal season. I’m not sure if it is simply the fact that there is time to really be together, if gifts are already being offered, there is time to get away, there is a lot of family is around, or if it is just a time for new beginnings, but a lot of couples will be engaged by January 2nd. If that is you, or was you in years past, congratulations! I’d love to hear the details of your holiday proposal.

It's proposal season!

It's proposal season!

Or can you imagine someone proposing to you in December? Planning to propose in December? In an ideal world, what does that look like for you? Where would you be? Who would be there? Evening or daytime? What are the sights, sounds, and smells around you? Let’s help those struggling to come up with a creative holiday proposal.

What is the best setting for a holiday wedding proposal?

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#RC03: Romance on a Toonie

December 21, 2009 — 3 Comments

Romance Challenge #3: Your have $2 & no other supplies; you can be anywhere in the world. Create a romantic gesture for your significant other.

@Nuk3dawg: Send a mushy postcard she’ll get on return home.

A great time-delayed gesture!

Romance on $2?

Romance on $2?

@o0omunkieo0o: Easy- write down 50 reasons you love them on notebook paper. Make a blanket bed on the floor in the living room & spendthe night together with no electronics. Spend the $2 on their favorite candy/soda.

Sometimes the most meaningful things don’t cost much more than time. “Affirmative Words” is my love language with Quality Time” not far behind, so this would be an awesome date for me. Hopefully the Mrs. is listening. LOL. (P.S. Diet Coke, blue Livewires.)

@allisonroesberr: At the beach: use stick to draw heart and write “I love you” in the wet sand. Go spend $2 on ice cream cones.

@tinandril: Chocolate dipped cones and a walk on the beach. That would be something we’d both love.


@scribblequeen: Stop at a dollar store, buy a cheap pail & a bottle of water for wildflowers. Build sandcastles on the beach.


@MissWy: You only have $2 but you have each other! I don’t know what $2 buys but a good spool of ribbon would do! Create all kinds of presents :)

Hmm… the mind can only wonder what kinds of presents you mean. :-)

@coparenting101: Notebook and pencil to write a love letter.

A classic that can be embellished for free.

@augustday1962: My love James & I recreated our 1st dates; fake fire on the TV, same food at his house. He was dying of pancreatic cancer. Best $2 I ever spent.

What a beautiful memory. :-( My condolences for your loss.

Have an idea? Please leave a comment.

A while back I had the flu and it inspired this challenge.

Romance Challenge 2: Describe something romantic to do for someone feeling ill.

@AirJunkie Two words: Sponge Bath!

An especially good idea for someone whose love language is physical touch.

Have you ever done something romantic for someone that is ill?

Have you ever done something romantic for someone that is ill?

@allisonroesberr A comfy place to sit/lay down, favourite beverage and snuggles work here, along with soft tissues!

Sounds fabulous.

@lottloft hold a washcloth to his/her head if feverish. Just sit with him/her for a while. Bring ginger ale with a straw.

This would go over especially well for someone whose love language is Acts of Service.

A few days later, this related situation came up:

Romance Challenge 4: Male SO has tonsillitis, has no health insurance and hasn’t been able to see a doctor. They live a 1000 miles apart; he is in Florida; she in South Dakota. She can’t visit. What could she do for him?

@Sarah_MO: I’d wire some money for a doc visit and some chicken soup.

Great idea. Do you know if Western Union can deliver to the door?

@liakov: She could send a zpack in the mail.

@lottloft She could find a local (to him) restaurant that will deliver chicken soup…or, since it is Florida, popsicles!

Comfort right to his door.

Have you fought cancer? Been hospitalized for an extended period of time? Has anyone ever experienced a rated G romantic gesture related to a long term illness/injury? Was it a #romancewin or a #romancefail? I’d love to hear your story.

Romance Challenge #1: What is the most romantic G rated thing you can do that includes chocolate?

@Smoph: Make a little corsage of chocolates.. Those are cute! And tasty! ^.^
I’m intrigued. Can’t say I’ve seen one! Sounds like an idea for someone with Love Language: Gifts.

How can you incorporate chocolate into your romantic gestures?

How can you use chocolate as a romantic gesture?

Difficult to Get Right

My own experience is that using chocolate skilfully as a romantic gesture is high risk & has a high degree of difficulty. With so many parameters (amount, dark/light, flavors, timing, etc.), chocolates are difficult – but potentially worth it.

@tetsuourashima: But that’s how it scores you extra points! If you KNOW her favorite type, style, etc.,  it shows how much you love them!  Definitely buy her chocolate truffles during her period. Gets you gratitude AND it helps her feel better!

@Shairbearg: Hubby surprises me by bringing home chocolate  just to make me happy!
Good man.

@Eckstatic: Depends on the lady really – dark high quality chocolate at the right moment can lead to a win.

@ImDevilicious: high quality? Blah! Bring me an Almond  Joy and I’m yours!!!
Nice. I’m a mounds fan myself.

@ShellyRouse: Chocolate?[...] I think it has become sort of trite &  seems uncreative. Call & offer to bring home Chinese? I’m yours!
I hear you. Chocolate isn’t for everyone.

Chocolate for Quality Time

@MooKooJoe: Bake some chocolate chip cookies together, and then enjoy them together with a glass of milk.
A great activity for an SO with Love Language: Quality Time.

@kit_cat1974: ummm… decorate #cupcakes !!!!
Truth. One of my daughter’s favorite activities with her friends.

@katzmeow1221: FONDUE!!!
Another good Quality Time activity.

@michellemerritt: Take the DeBrands tour in Fort Wayne.
Many cities have chocolate factory tours. An idea that has potential.

Chocolate for Guys?

Guys, does chocolate work for you on the receiving end? I like Purdy’s milk caramels but , personally, bring me Pringles. ;-)

@wyndwalker: Not much of a candy guy, chocolate-chocolate cake on the other hand . . .

@ke_nny: I’d rather have a pound of good coffee.
You are not alone. I have a chocolate box at work & I only have one guy that uses it regularly.

@lottloft: lol…I have a chocolate basket at work and I spend about $5 a week filling it!! That person must not work in IT!

I spend easily that too; double during report card season. :-) That said, it’s almost only lady “customers.” I often wonder why.

@lottloft: I have found that in general more women like chocolate than men. But I work with so many men &  they eat bigger portions!

[This page is a work in progress. I would love to hear your ideas. I look forward to reading your comments.]