We were singing when some late comers arrived to church. He, the epitome of Santa Claus, white beard and belly, had his wife on his arm helping her fragile form down the aisle toward a seat near their “where we normally sit” chairs. She shuffled uncomfortably along with him, her tongue hanging out to the side slightly – a side effect of the cancer meds. The adult diapers under her pants rustled slightly as she struggled forward. Her swollen “prednisone” face carried a sheepish smile and the obvious telltale signs that she has very few time left. Continue Reading…
Archives For Love
I smiled as we continued our walk around the lake. “It’s funny you should mention it. I’ve been resisting the urge to suggest the same thing.”
This was in mid-August. I am happy to say that, as of Tuesday, my lovely wife will have been off Paxil for two weeks. It marks the beginning of a new stage of our lives together; one, hopefully, now and forevermore, free of clinical depression.
In February of this year, I posted about her stuggles – actually our struggles – in an article called “Our Valentine’s Day Victory.” To summarize, my heartmate has lived nearly half her life under the dark cloud of clinical depression and has been on anti-depression meds for the past 12 years. However, this year she started to show signs of recovery. I can’t tell you how momentous the progress has been. I had to update our story. Continue Reading…
Is sadness the opposite of happiness? Clinicians, do you have a real definition? It seems ridiculous, but I’m not entirely sure I know.
During some quiet time, my wife and I were sharing answers to a few of the questions I’d read while flipping through the Love Maps app from the Gottman Institute.
The question for me was, “What was your partner’s happiest moment?”
That one was a easy – our wedding day. If you saw the smile on her face that day, the choice was obvious. Her face literally hurt at the end of the day. We talked about why that day made her happy. She talked about feelings of love, joy, accomplishment, and even relief. Like I say, an obvious choice.
But then the obvious discussion point coming back to me was “What was the saddest day in your life?”
“Hmmm… It depends on what you mean by sad,” was my reply. “Is sad the opposite of happy? I’ve felt misunderstood, hurt, frustrated, lonely, anxious, left-out, pained, and have even felt feelings of loss - occasionally in combination. Would my saddest moment just be one of those moments or is ‘sad’ something different? I’m not sure I’ve ever felt just plain ‘sad.’”
So my question is, by definition is “sad” in reality a combination of other emotions or is it something unto itself? e.g. If I am lonely am I a kind of sad, or is it possible to be lonely and sad.
Ya, some days I think too much. I look forward to reading your comments.